I don't like celebrating my birthday but this year I got myself a tattoo as a birthday present. It is a drawing of a mermaid with saggy tits and hairy pits and she means a lot to me. A good friend of mine drew her for me. Her arms are long and squiggly so her hands peek out of my tank tops. Like she's asking for little high fives. I'm excited to have her with me now. She's going to give me mermaid powers when I need to swim away from things. I used to be good at leaving things behind, but it gets harder all the time now.